


I can't do this anymore

by ONeillwith2ls



Series: Fictober20 [19]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Episode: s08e18 Threads, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:47:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27100705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ONeillwith2ls/pseuds/ONeillwith2ls
Summary: A little scene in Threads for you. The part in bold is directly from the episode., so no copyright infringement intended.
Relationships: Samantha "Sam" Carter/Jack O'Neill, Samantha "Sam" Carter/Pete Shanahan
Series: Fictober20 [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1947181
Comments: 5
Kudos: 40





	I can't do this anymore

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this a little later---again. A teacher in contact with my eldest was postive for COVID19. So I had to redo the school run (they let us know half an hour after they went in). Its just her who needs to self isolate none of us do (which is strange) my 4 year old gets to still go in the same school because he had no contact with said teacher. Just her bubble and another one was affected. She's fine, her main concern was getting the chicken dinner she ordered for her dinner time meal. Luckily I had all in! The irrational part of my brain is lit up like a firework claiming we're all going to die, luckily my common sense is keeping it real and telling my its going to be fine, so at this point I'm only mildy pancking! I think-- so if I suddenly stop--

“Hey,” Pete said as he approached her.

Sam was standing in front of the little lawn bench of the house he had picked out. She hadn’t been waiting long for him before he arrived.

“Hi Pete.” She greeted him. As Pete reached her, she turned her face, so his kiss landed on her cheek. She took a half step back. “I think we should sit.” She told him as she sat down.

“You’re making me nervous--” He told her and gave a little laugh, trying to make a joke out of the unresolved tension. “I think I know what this is,” he said, sitting and reaching for her hand.

“You do?” Sam asked him, pulling her hands away.

“You hate the house.” He said, jumping in. Nervously, he added in a rush, “It was too much, wasn’t it? I just -- it was so perfect; it has everything you said you wanted--”

“It was everything I said I wanted--” She said, quickly, she had said a lot of things, she didn't even mean that night, because he'd asked about things she never thought about, so she had to make it up for him when he pressed. Before Pete could respond, she tried to assure him of that. “But it’s not the house, Pete.” 

“What then?” he asked her, concerned. “Did your dad not like me?” He tried to make a joke of the meeting, but did not seem to notice Sam’s body cringe and tense up. “I don’t always make a good impression. Did he take what I said about the – umm -- you know what -- too much to heart? It’s just hard to put together in my head that your dad is an alien!” he said, his voice lowering to a whisper which she was thankful for. 

She tried to explain for the umpteenth time. “Not an alien, a host, to a symbiotic life form--”

“Which is pretty much a damn alien!” He chuckled nervously. “What did the alien not like me? Is that a problem? How do they--”

“Pete!” She snapped. She took a few deep breaths before she started to speak. Pete seem to understand that he needed to wait for Sam to continue. Her voice was quiet but steady when she said, “Dad died.” 

“He -- what? I just met him yesterday!”

“Dad was sick and Selmak couldn’t repair the damage.”

“Sam, I’m so sorry.” Pete’s arms reached out to hold her, hoping to comfort her.

“Pete, please don’t--” She said, shrugging his hands off her as she moved further away on the bench, without falling off. “That--that’s not what this is about.” she told him.

“Oh?” He asked, slightly uncertain of what was happening.

“I can’t do this anymore.” She whispered but as usual he only heard what he wanted to hear.

“Well, of course, you can't, baby--” he claimed. He didn’t seem to see Sam wince at the endearment. “I’m so glad you said it because as awesome as it is to have a superhero for a girlfriend, it’s all a bit much!” he exclaimed. “You can resign from the Air Force. Mark said you joined only to make your Dad happy but now you can leave, and we can get married. It will be great. I can take care of you and you won’t have to worry about anything. That is, until the kids arrive and then…”

“No, Pete.” she said, shaking her head. She should have known he would misunderstand what she said because he never really knew her at all. “Not that this--” she told him “this--” she continued, pointing back and forth between them. “This, this.”

Her meaning dawned on his face as he asked quietly, “What do you mean?”

“Pete, I care about you. A lot.” She admitted but continued before he could interrupt “Please don’t think I never thought I was in love with you.”

“Thought?” He questioned.

“That came out wrong.” she said, shaking her head, “Pete, please just let me finish.” She asked of him. He nodded and she knew he would remain quiet until she was finished. “I’ve – um --I’ve always had a hard time, expressing myself and sharing myself with another person. 

I know it’s because of what happened with Jonas and you’ve been so incredibly patient in trying to get to know me. You know, and I know you know my love life has always been--” she shook her head and shrugged as she tried to find the right word “messy.” She took a breath. “I told you on our first date that I found all of this difficult. Any relationship would come second to my work--” She reminded him. She knew in her own heart that if it were Jack, he’d come first. Maybe that was part of the problem. Her ‘General’ was part of the job and it was always going to look like he came first. “I care about you a lot, Pete, and there might even be enough there to patch together something you could label with ‘love,’” she admitted “But I’m not --” she said, shaking her head. “I’m not in love with you.” She finally confessed. “And I hate myself that it’s taken this long to admit.” She told him then looked up “But this -- I can’t do this anymore, because it's not what I want, and I’m sorry.” 

He paused as if he were thinking deeply about what she had said then admitted. “ **I knew from the beginning. Guess I just thought when you said yes that… that you were worth the risk. Don't say I deserve better. Can't get much better than you.”**


End file.
